Silence is Golden

Alrighty, it's about time I get back on topic regarding my blog. Or at least post something that has to do with the title! So here we go!

As I mentioned before, I have a pretty bad hearing loss. They call it "moderately severe". I basically just have a 65-70% hearing loss. Why they choose to use terms like "moderately severe" or "severe", I don't know. That's about as informative as going "Whoa! You are SO deaf"... and to that I say (with heavy sarcasm) "Nooo, really?" :P
But this post isn't to complain about Audiologist's methods because, despite little drawbacks, they really are super helpful!

Anyway, so I've realized that I tend to focus on the negative aspects of being deaf. Which is actually pretty common for anyone who develops a disability or handicap. But today, I'm gonna talk about the AWESOME parts about being deaf!

1. I fall asleep easily. When you can't hear anything, it's super easy to fall asleep. You can't hear people snoring, babies crying, or construction. :P  When I was in my first apartment  at college, my roommates would complain about construction waking them up in the mornings. Whereas I just got to laugh at them, because I sleep like a rock!

2. I get to learn about - and even be a part of - the deaf community and deaf culture if I want. Deaf people have their own history, their own communities, their own schools, and even their own language! The cool part about this is that I can become a part of this community if I want to, because I have a hearing loss. So I could fit right in, if I ever felt the desire to do so!

3. I don't have to worry about damaging my hearing! You know how people always warn you not to turn up your music too loud, or you'll go deaf? Well, that is true. So be careful! But you see, I'm already hard of hearing. (I was born with perfect hearing, but I'm slowly losing it. Kind of like how old people lose their hearing, except I starting losing it when I was 9!) Anyway, I'm going deaf no matter what... So I can turn up my music as loud as I want! Mwahahahaha!

4. You can pretend you don't hear things. Now, I don't normally make a habit of this, but it can be fun! One of my brothers would often act like he didn't hear our mom tell him to do his chores and would get out of doing them because of this! Another fun part of this is annoying people. People will say stuff to me and I'll just be like "what?". Then they repeat it and I respond in the same way. Then I switch to "huh?" and then - getting louder - "I can't hear you. I'm deaf!" Then even louder, "YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP!" By then, it's pretty obvious that I'm joking with them, but it's so much fun to see them get all flustered as they repeat themselves over and over! ;)

5. You can easily get "peace & quiet". Most people have to go find a quiet place to read or study. But me? I can get it anywhere. All I gotta do is take off my hearing aids! Simple. Problem solved. I can just turn off everything if I so please! So, now I feel obligated to say sorry to everyone with perfect hearing, who have to find a "quiet place" or who have to wear earplugs. The only current downside of this is that it's not completely quiet when I turn off my hearing aids. But it will be eventually! lol

Some people just see the negative sides of being deaf - having to wear hearing aids or get surgery, learning a new language, having a hard time enjoying music, etc etc. And it's true. Having a hearing loss isn't always a walk in the park! But, like anything else, it's only as good as you make it.

And I've made silence golden.

Bedtime O_o

In the darkness of the night
I laid in bed, my soul afright
But I dared not make a sound
For I feared I would be found

So I came up with a plan
I jumped up and ran!
I shot out of bed
And ended up dead!

I should not have moved
Yes, the stories are all true
It all isn't just a dream
I now know, for it happened to me

A creature grabbed my foot
I am long gone, you see
No one knew where to look
Nor would they ever believe

I give you this warning: Beware
You have good reason to be scared

This advice I give to you
Whatever it is that you do

Stay out of darkness
Turn on the light
For you are helpless in the night

So please hear my words
And take heed, kind sir
Or to you this may occur

Simply remember all you have read
And believe your kid when he says
             "There's a monster under my bed"

Hope you all liked it! :)  This is one my favorites, out of all the poems I've written.

Spiders Beware

 Ok, so this post has absolutely nothing to do with my deafness. Instead, it's about something much more important! - Killing spiders. Do you have some thing you just hate or are afraid of? You think of it and you just shudder uncontrollably? Well, that's me with spiders.

You see, I've always hated spiders. When I was a little girl, I would always have my dad or brothers move - but preferably KILL - the spiders. If no one else was around, I became best friends with a flip flop, or textbook, or whatever flat and hard surface I could find! And this new friend of mine? Let's just say it soon came to be very useful... and covered in spider guts!

Anywho, so here I was last night and I saw a little spider creeping along the wall by my computer. That thing must've had a serious death wish, and if it didn't, that's what it got anyway. Mwahahahaha! ... I almost feel bad for killing the spider, though. That little thing showed some nerve when it came in to my room and definitely had guts to show itself to me! But... now those guts are on my wall. So I guess I don't feel that bad!

Most people hate spiders, but I also have a rather unsettling story to explain why I am a spider killer. A few years back, I had decided to take a shower around 3am. I went to the bathroom and noticed that there was a  pretty big spider on the wall opposite of the shower - in the corner above the sink. Since it didn't move, I decided to be nice and ignore the disgusting creature... and I couldn't reach it! So I got in the shower and kept looking out to make sure that the spider didn't suddenly decide to hightail it across the room and attack me! I was looking out for about the 7th time, and was almost ready to relax, when I saw these tiny little dots along the wall  near the spider. At first, I just thought the wall was dirty... that, until I saw that the dots were moving. By now, I was so confused. I had no idea what would be moving on the wall! So I went over to the wall and saw hundreds -MILLIONS- of tiny little baby spiders moving down the wall... coming towards the sink where my hearing aids and glasses were! ... and... coming towards ME!

Now, I'd like to take a moment to explain my crazy and irrational fear. First: You've got to understand, I'm not only hard of hearing, but I also have to wear glasses. Without my glasses on, I had no idea where all the spiders were! There could've been some on me! Secondly: My glasses and hearing aids were on the sink and these little baby menaces were VERY close to the sink. All I could imagine were little baby spiders in my hearings aids. They would be in there, lying in wait for me to put in my hearing aids. Then - BAM!! - as soon as my hearing aids were in, they'd attack. I'd have spiders in my ears and then in my brain - just crawling around trying to kill me! Oh, and third: I was naked!! Yeah, that seriously adds a whole new level of fear! And i had no towel... nope, just shook out my nightgown (it might've had spiders on it, and yes... I meant nightgown :P) and threw it on... I think it was inside out! lol

Anywho, so I'd like to say that I went all ninja and got a flame thrower and burned those little monsters! ButI didn't... No, I ran out of there sobbing and had my parents kill the spiders (that they could find). Then I took over their bathroom, after checking it very thoroughly for spiders. Ever since then, not only has my fear of spiders risen, but so has my intense hatred of these little monsters. They scare me half to death, but I will still kill them all! DEATH TO SPIDERS! Sure, if they are outside, I will allow them to live. But if those little killing machines get on me or come in my house, they will die. No questions asked.

"The 'What' Count"

Have you ever noticed how many times people ask "what?" every day? It's actually rather common. Sometimes it's the husband who is "listening" or the little kid who doesn't understand what is going on, and sometimes it's just too darn loud to hear what's being said!

Now that's how it is for normal people. For those of us with a hearing loss, it's an entirely different story. You see, I can be listening as intently as I possibly can and still not have a clue what someone says! You don't believe me? You think I just have selective hearing? Try going a day wearing super thick earmuffs over your ears or earplugs - and more power to ya! Fair warning: those around you will either be really amused or super annoyed!

You see, being hard of hearing, makes it much more difficult to understand what is being said.  I say "what" more times in a single day than most people do in a week! It's crazy! It was actually starting to really get on my nerves until I met another hard of hearing girl who had the best idea ever. What, pray tell, is this idea - you may ask? It's "The 'What' Count". 

How would one play this game? Easily! Simply count how many times you ask "what" in a day. Whoever says it the most wins! ... or loses. I guess it depends on whether you wanna be deaf or not ;) And if you don't have any hearing issues, you can make your own version of this game! Say you're a teenager in middle school - then you can go hang around a bunch of 7th or 8th grade girls and count how many times they say "like" or "OMG!". Go to a highschool in Provo, Utah and count how many times you hear people say "flippin". Do whatever you want! Just remember to keep it clean :P  and good luck!

Alarm Clock Madness

    So it’s been a while! Life has been a little crazy with school and work and everything else that is going on. I don’t even know how much sleep per night is “normal” for me anymore! There is one thing that seems to be running my day… my alarm clock. Yep, my alarm clock. You see, most people just have a normal alarm clock. It just beeps, or maybe it even plays the radio. Some people even plug their iPod or phone into speakers, and voila! An alarm clock is made. But, not me. I did have a normal alarm clock once, when I was still living at home. I guess it was a good alarm clock, but I wouldn’t personally know because it woke up everyone in the house except for me! You see, I have a hearing loss. A MAJOR hearing loss. Nothing wakes me up! My mother was my alarm clock for most of high school, and I feel sorry for her, because I am NOT a happy camper in the morning! So when I was finally sick of making my mother go crazy every morning, I finally decided to get a new alarm clock. I looked online and decided to buy a $40 alarm clock that would supposedly be enough to wake me up. It was a risk, but hey, I was desperate! Turns out, it was the best investment I’ve ever made. Now, this isn’t your normal run-of-the-mill alarm clock. No, it is far too cute for that. This baby is something you’d expect to find in a catalog displaying an 11 year old girl’s room. It is bright pink with multicolored digital numbers and - as if that isn’t enough - it is also shaped like a heart! But don’t let that fool you. This is no ordinary baby… err, alarm clock. Sure, it looks cute and innocent, but it is evil. This thing is not a “baby”, it’s a flippin’ alien here to make sure that humans never sleep in again! - I love it! :D

 The thing sounds like a police siren is going off right by your head. It is SO loud. In addition, I can change the pitch and volume on the alarm AND there is an attachment that vibrates. So way down the road when I am “I-can’t-hear-a-flippin’-thing” deaf, at least the vibrating part will wake me up! Funny thing about this alarm clock, though… it terrifies me every morning! After my first week of having the daylight scared out of me every morning, I had an epiphany. If this crazy thing is loud enough to scare a hard of hearing girl in the morning, it would definitely be enough to make anyone else freak out! So, my new plan: unplug my friends’ alarm clocks and put mine in place of it. In the morning, these people will freak out and jump so high! … I may even have to make a video montage of it! But, in the meantime, I will just have to settle with this video of one of my old roommates playing a song on my darling, evil little alarm clock. ;)

Little Girl

Little girl, are you sad
with tears running down your face
Do you wish you could be glad
Just find happiness in this dismal place

Little girl, are you afraid
In the silence by yourself
Are you worried in the darkness
That you might just fade
If you don't get some help

Little girl, do you feel alone
in your world without sound
Do you wish you could fly away - just go
and forever leave this ground

Little girl, what sort of life do you lead?
I don't have a clue
Do you just sit in the silence, or do you dream
of all the things you can do

Little girl, I shouldn't be surprised
That you can survive in the dark
I see a light dancing in your eyes
It's a magical fire, a beautiful spark

Little girl, It's time they understand
There's a whole world out there
You're not confined to this land

Little girl, it's true
Yes, you're young and small
But you have a life ahead of you
This isn't all

Little girl, you're different
That is all the world can see
But this doesn't mean you shouldn't
Become all that you can be

Little girl, all these things you know
Now you must get up and go
It's about time the world knew, too
There's no end to what you can do

                   - So there it is, my first post. :)